so yeah i posted something about an MSI concert like 2 weeks ago and i heard nothing back becides some stupid bullshit. take this the wrong way if you want, i don’t care, i want to go to see MSI again and i don’t want to go alone. if i can’t go, you guys will not know the misery and complete saddness that i will feel. i have had my heart set on seeing them for a 3rd time since bascially the new year. my heart will literally break if it has to deal with another loss, especially if it is another big one.
i can’t take this much more. i try to make my life as care free as possible, but it just isn’t happening. i really and honestly enjoy the fishing trips, i wouldn’t change the company or anything, i love everyone that goes. the thing that is getting to me is, of everyone in the “group” the only people i ever see is Xack and Brandon. i see Robin too but most of the time it is because of work. i am almost always at Xadon mannor on saturday nights hanging out with them, but i never see anyone else on a regular basis. i have no idea what is up with drew anymore. the last time i saw him was the night that Cody left. i know that he has work and school and sam (drew forgive me) but when i hear of him hanging out with thacker and flanagan instead of us and doing the stupid shit that they are know to do. it breaks my heart even more, and i am running out of pieces of heart to break. and i know brandon isn’t gonna be happy when he reads this, but i had to say it. and robin chooses not to do much with us unless it involves the movie or if candace isn’t available. it just seems like i am unimportant to everyone now days. who knows, this may be the source of my migrains. who knows? and no i don’t feel like i am being left behind, i am moving ahead just fine.
lately i have been hanging out with Ramon and Jenna, who make me oh so happy. i don’t know how they do it, but just hanging out and not doing anything is fun. i feel like the time i spend with them is like how it use to be with the group.
“with the change of time comes the change of hearts”
how do you like that little quote? i just pulled it out of my ass.
but yeah, i just feel like i have no heart anymore. for one thing it is still broken from things that happend years ago. and another thing, it is spread all over the place, Billy, Stephen, Cody, and Sean all have a piece way way far away with them. and bacically everyone i have ever been attached to has a piece too. i am running out and i can’t take much more. but i still love you all.
May 22nd, 2006 at 12:42 PM
ok ok i know your being serious and all but i mean think about it cow dung people really pick that stuff up and throw it like shot-put style does that seem wierd to any one else
May 22nd, 2006 at 6:12 PM
Dude, you’re getting a Dell. That said, yeah, I do like the quote. I quote myself all the time, with little success.
I don’t know what the heck is going on with anyone. I talk to Robin and Co. about as much as I always have, I send Xack piles of random garbage, most of which doesn’t make much sense, I never talk to Drew or Dillon, conversations with Bee are pretty much me sending some messages and him saying “word” a few hours later, I go morning glory on Hailey, and the rest is pretty sporadic. Just the way it is.
I don’t know. Things will never be the same again. I wouldn’t want them to be. I know it sucks, but if you want my advice, make some more new friends at the concert. Having new / more friends is not a betrayl, as much as it might seem to be.
I could really go on about this.
May 23rd, 2006 at 7:36 PM
ok on secound thought i might want to go to the concert
let me ponder on it for a secound
May 23rd, 2006 at 10:29 PM
I’ve actually been considering branching. Problem is I’m kind of content with my limited downtime. I’m sort of odd. This comment doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
[This comment was accidentally deleted, but reinstated later that day.]
May 24th, 2006 at 7:19 AM
Salad? You queer, boy?!
Once, twice, three times an MSI lady. I can;t go, too many things to do already, too much debt to recover from.
May 24th, 2006 at 9:02 PM
My attendance is in much doubt; aside from the movie, I do seem to have many other projects. I can’t give a definite answer. (which, btw, is spelled funny)
May 25th, 2006 at 1:47 PM
Cheer up my dear Jeremiah, you never know who might drop by. As for MSI, alas, if it had been but a week later I might have actually been able to attend, but I fear it will be impossible. I miss you all greatly and would have written a post but my text would not show up in the text box, so not sure what’s up with that. Plus it costs me 15 cents a minute here in the CyberZone to use the interenet, so until I can get to the library, this is all you get. I will be getting a cell phone soon (Cingular, most likely) so prepare to be called, all ye who would hear me. Peace off.