this is me talking here
“just letting you know that i finally read your site(i didn’t know that you changed it till now) thanks for the shout out. it just leaves me to wonder what i mean to you…you moving away makes me think of different things…i really wish you would reconsider moving…if you could just hold out for like a year or so i would prob move out there with you…but i know that will prob not happen because i know you want to move out there right now but there are some good things here in alabama…like me,luke, all your friends and people that consider you family. i really don’t want you to leave, i just want you to know that. well i still miss you and can’t wait to see you again… take care baby…bye”
this is Aleena “Jere…i know that you don’t want me to move…and neither does Luke…he’s the one i’m really concerned about leaving…but he knows that he can’t be selfish and make me stay there…i haven’t been this happy since i moved to AL…i’m sry…i know you don’t like what i’m doing…but i have to do this…and i have to do it alone…i need to get out in the world…on my own two feet…and stop living under mom…i know you can’t quite understand why i wanna do this…but all i can say is trust me…i know what i need…and what i’m doing…i need to find out how to take care of myself instead of everyone else taking care of me…there really is nothing you could say or do to make me stay in that hell hole of hatred…i’m sry…i know you don’t get it…but that’s all i can really say…i want a new life…a real life…and i’m sry that i want it 2000 miles away from where you are…but that’s what i want……”
thats part of the hole sad story…”dark have been my dreams of late”
so yeah is still don’t know what to do…any more advice?
March 18th, 2006 at 12:23 AM
jeez…um, well….
I really feel like im sort of pushing you or somethign now, which is not what i should be doing. but, well…
it just seems like, from what i read, that….maybe….shes not really interested in a relationship as much as california. she said she needed to do it alone, so its probably not personal. Sounds like a case of the common kid. you know, insecure, unstable, confused, trying to find his/her path, we’ve all been there and most of us still are. this is one thing we all must do alone, i suppose. i did it when i left for ohio, and now im back. i figured it all out, so i guess im lucky. maybe she will too. if you really love her, let her know, and make she sure she understands that you just want her to be happy, even if that means without you (theres that sacrfice your own desires for her needs thing i was talking about). it kind of feels like a slow agonizing death to let love fly away, but she sounds like a pretty troubled/tortured soul. girls are wierd like this. i cant give you any good advice, but from my experience, it didnt seem i could do anything in these kinds of situations but just sit back and hope/pray.
If it was me….if i just read all that stuff….i’d give it one last shot. id ask her if she understood how i felt. and then id tell her again. and id tell her how impossibly difficult it would be to live without her. how she is one of the few things goling right in my life. how she is my soul mate. how we were meant to be together forever. how, if she needs to leave, maybe i can go with her. how i will do my damdest to make sure i could do everything in my possibility to make her feel special. and if she needed the space and she needed to go alone….i love her so much that id let her, because i value her feelings more than my own.
it’d make her think, at the least. these things are hard.
such is love.
March 18th, 2006 at 1:37 AM
thanks for the advice Xack…it has been placed in my heart as one of the best things i have ever heard you say…thank you Xack…i mean it
March 18th, 2006 at 12:16 PM
Oddly, I don’t feel as hopeful as Xack does about the whole thing. Sounds like a bad case of person wanting something, getting it, and dropping it to pursue the next big thing–regardless of the necks they have to step on to get out of the relationship that they had a hand in creating. Of course, my view on most everything involving people (and especially their relationships with others) tends to lean–hard–on the negative possibilities.
But, as Xack said, you’d feel useless and stupid if you didn’t keep trying and she just up and left and that was it. If you feel strongly about it, ride it hard until its over and do what you consider you must do. Thinking back, you’ll know that you did all that you could.
March 18th, 2006 at 10:57 PM
well its official, i am single. she basically broke up with me last night. so i don’t even know if i am going to cali with her as of right now. i think i might just stay hering AL and hang out with my friends and not have anything to do during the day.
March 19th, 2006 at 10:26 PM
I’m sure it’s probably not my place to insert any opinion or advice. Actually, I don’t HAVE any advice, so I couldn’t throw that in even if it was my place. I don’t know any more about your situation other than the past few Waterblogged! entries, but…
I dunno. I tend to think if she is going to take you for granted so much that she can up and leave with what seems to be no second thought… she’s not worth following, and you can do better. I’m sorry, I know that sounds really mean… she’s probably an awesome person. But so are you, and you deserve better than what she seems to be doing to you.
Sorry if that was way out of line. =S I would give you a comforting hug if this um… wasn’t the Internet, lol…
March 20th, 2006 at 12:48 AM
thanks jam master joie. but things are getting better and working them selves out now. i decided last night that i was gonna go to Cali and enjoy the experience of visiting another place and see the sights. well thats not really happening now, i talked to aleena earlier tonight and we talked it out and we decided i am not going there and that she is coming back to AL to get her things in late may or early june. so i am gonna have a week and a day off of work so if anyone wants to do anything let me know, i have nothing planned. mostly i think i will try to hang with Bill tho.
believe it or not this whole break-up thing isn’t bothering me that much anymore, yeah sure it feels wierd to talk about things she and i have done but for the most part i am ok.