The following is my view of people today…indulge me for a few minutes.

Hey Everyone, I just have one thing to say to you today. Shut up. Look at me, I’m a freakin whiny baby, feel sorry for me! The world is so cruel to me, no one could possibly understand me. Not a single person in the entire world has ever had this problem, you are unique, you are special. I can’t believe that I have had the pleasure to have read about the sole survivor of this terrible event. I think I’m going to go listen to a song about it now, I mean what else can I do? I obviously can’t deal with it, it’s either a) kill myself, or b) listen to a song about it. I prefer b, and fortunately most of you have chosen b as well. Actually I am sorry, there are more choices. You could always drink heavily, turn to drugs, get a girlfriend/boyfriend and bang her/him non stop. See you have lots of options. Or wait a minute…here’s a thought…no wait that’s crazy. Just forget I even mentioned it…and yet…and yet I wonder… What if…this is embarrassing to say, really…What if we didn’t dwell on the things that made us miserable? I mean call me crazy, but what if we focused on the things that made us happy? Are you all still with me? I know that was a giant leap from one end of the spectrum to the other, but I think with a little practice, we may all be cured of this self indulgent feel sorry for me stage.

I know that all of these are hard choices to choose from, so lets go over each of them very slowly, analyzing the good and the bad. Where oh where should we start? Ahh yes, with music.

Recently a craze known only as emo was unleashed to the public. While it is a major hit with the young’uns, the adult group is not big on the matter. In fact Microsoft word does not register it as a word. But anyways, I digress. You see, what these songs are, for those of you who are not aware of it, is a collection of “emotion.” When they say “emotion” though they do not mean all of them, they actually just focus on the ones that provide pity for whoever takes up the song as their anthem. A main topic for these songs is “breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend.” Often times the…I’m not sure what to call them, definitely not artists…but the persons recording the songs, have a thesaurus lying in wait, thinking of how deep and meaningful they can make their lyrics by using words that have become obsolete in the English language. These songs usually follow the same chord progression over and over, and sometimes they change the strumming pattern. And the delivery is crucial, I mean you can have an awesome emo song just ruined by it’s delivery. When singing an emo song, it is imperative that you do not sing well, if you do you have ruined the song. Think about this, hear you are a tortured soul, can you honestly sing correctly? No! you have to have the most nasally sounding voice the world has ever heard. I mean to have the most nasally voice is considered a compliment, because it shows just how awful life is for you. They even make these songs easy to sing along to, because each one only changes a little bit.
What’s that? That emo just not cutting it for you? Well then there’s always “grunge.” Grunge is angst against the world personified. I mean what better way to deal with your problems then listening to lyrics such as, “Sod off, you bloody wanker!” Or “I hate you,” “I want to kill you,” “Stop raping me” and the list goes on. These bands are kind of like emo, except you have to scream non stop, and the guitars sound more…grungey?
It is always important to remember to listen to those heartfelt words, so that we can feel better. The only thing that truly understands us is the sound coming out of those speakers, however big and small.

Ahh yes, drinking heavily and doing drugs, what a brilliant and creative choice. After all why deal with anything at all when you could enter into a drunken stupor? I mean come on, there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s that? My bad habits could be inflicting even more pain to others? Well that’s awesome! Then they can finally understand me. That’s the whole point right? Every one needs to be equal, correct? Let’s put everyone on the same playing field. What’s that? Yeah I think President Bush is an idiot! Stop the war! Stop the Bush, he’s doing nothing but bad things, he’s a bad, bad man! Very naughty! Santa will be skipping his house for years. I’m 17-22, but I have a perfect knowledge of the constitution and everything this country was founded upon, that means that my ideas are right and everyone else is wrong.

Banging a girl non stop? Sounds like a blast right? Well kids, it’s not. Stop doing it.

Oh yeah, and don’t kill yourself. That is the most self centered thing you could do.

This is goodbye everyone, have a nice night and start trying to see the better side of things.

-S.A.P.

Or if you read this in the day, have a nice day.