As the date rape eye drops I administered to you while you were sleeping start to take effect, you are compelled to read whatever I write.

The S.S. Internet I had pirated and was comandeering for a short while has been reclaimed by the British Navy of Comcast. Sorry to pretty much just Robin, who was the only one I had really talked to for that brief time and seems to be the only one who cares.

I find myself thinking about really great stuff I want to write about whenever I’m driving. I don’t like driving so i usually zone out leaving only enough attention to keep myself from crashing (most of the time) so all of the other mind bullets are spent on stuff I’d like to write about. Unfortunately it all seems to drain out by the time I actually sit down to write. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m always listening to music when I’m driving so I’m listening to music now in hopes that it will work. We shall see.

I’m really looking forward to coming down there in June and I intend to try and see everyone somehow and in some capacity (even Hailey, I know how much she misses me), but I don’t know where everyone is. Xack, Hailey, Joie, Jere, Where do you reside?

Go to ZUG.com. It’s a comedy website I stumbled onto at work. It is some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever read. The Drug Deathmatch and Viagra Prank are my favorites where the author of the site John Hargrave pits various drugs against each other, like Kaopectate vs. Ex-Lax and Robitussin vs. Claritin, and takes Viagra in Church, respectively. ROTMFFL.

There are so many things I’ve been wanting to learn lately. Sword fighting, violin, painting, Photoshop, how to make Flash games, and the impending need to start taking college classes. I suck at committing to anything long enough to actually buy the equipment I need for any one task. The only thing so far that I have made a little progress with is magic tricks. No major illusions, just simple card tricks and close up street tricks, but those tend to be the most fun because they require little set-up and make for a great icebreaker. I hope to have a pretty decent arsenal built up by the time I come down there. Maybe I’ll impress you guys. I doubt it. OR DO I! (yeah)

I recently purchased the same vacation package thing that Brandon has, only mine is not as grand and consequently less expensive. It’s very exciting and I look forward to get to travel, however I’m as financially responsible as an eight year old with ADD in a candy store, so I worry about the monthly payments for the next seven years.

I considered making a separate draft for each paragraph of this post for Robin’s benefit, but it takes enough effort just to write it in the first place, so I’ll just have to flood the draft pool with one letter drafts. Your statistics mean nothing to me. Which reminds me, Stephen, does it cost you anything to run this site, besides your time and soul?

IF comes out April 29th. Preorder your copy today.