The trip to England, as best as I am capable of articulating, was like going to some wierd Northeastern State you never hear about–ever. For a great deal of time, I was sure I was merely in Delaware.

Listen to London.mp3

London is a town like what I imagine NYC to be–a barf-bag of many races and cultures of people. This is probably one of the only places that so heavily resembles the US in multiple ways (predominate commercialism, people who dont even acknowledge your presence (and frequently knock the hell out of you without so much as looking at you), lots of traffic and art musems). And of course, one can see many a true British Punk.

English people eat a lot of bland foods. This may be the reason for the lack of restaurants/chains. Instead, one goes to a Pub for food (and beer–these people are some drinkin’ ass mofos). They seem to like ‘guiness pies’ (Very large pot pies), ‘bangers and mash’ (mashed potatoes and sausage bits), and peas. Lots of peas. I don’t think they have discovered sodium chloride.

It is a world with persitent, snotty, rain clouds and fleeting sunlight.

English birds.

An English Coy.

The hounds of the baskervilles.

There is little development in England, the newest buildings having been built maybe some 30-40 years ago. Most buldings are ancient. New houses are far and few, and even the most modest house will cost a pretty pence. My father lives in a house about as big as Billy’s old place in Ye Olde Silver Hills, only with a small second floor, valued at $750,000 ( in America, such a house might not even run $150,000). This is partly because of the low value of the dollar (for us Americans, things are almost exactly twice as expensive in England as they are here), but mostly because the incredible cost of living in England.

An English Tyrannosaurus Rex.

You may also find it interesting to note the general lack of complete ignorance, selfishness, and douchebaggery present in a great deal of Americans. I may not have any backing to state this, but I’d estimate as many as 20% of Americans appear to be worthless, selfish, unintelligent assholes. Drop this number to about 8 % for England. Total guesswork, of course, all based on my small taste of the place. Those 8% are mostly youth, and I assume they will grow out of it (whereas here, it seems to be pretty evenly distributed). One such youth approached me in my father’s town, Thetford (of which Thomas Paine once lived, perhaps was born, before instigating the Revolutionary war). He was slightly punkish in appearance, and said:

“Yu gawn peek thot ope mate?” referring to a piece of trash i was walking by, not in any way related to me.
“Say what, dude?”
“Thes ‘ere’s moi tawn. I’s loik et clayn. Goe awn. Peck it. Are yull be spinnin’ rind ya rocka wit’ king’s and counselors”
(Laughing out oud). “Are you…are you threatening me or something?”
“Thes roit”
(Still laughing). “No fucking way, ‘mate’. But you’re welcome to try and make me”. I approached his scrwany ass, and he ran off. He wasn’t much older than 14 or 15. And this is why people in England refer to Thetford as a “rough town”. heh, heh.

Above: british youth

And they drive on the left side of the road. And cops don’t have guns. Low crime rates. Offenses are limited to people pissing in public, minor traffic violations, and other petty things. I now know why Universal threw out my pitch of “CSI: London”.

The most unnatractive white people i’ve ever seen aside from people in Kentucky. Couldn’t get a good glimpse of any messed up teeth, however.

old church

a cool picture.

It was an interesting trip. Not a place I’d like to live, but good to see. Tune in next time for:

Delaware.